I truly never thought I would get married. I was open to the idea, but the right person never came along and I was fine with that. I grew up watching my parents in chaos, constantly fighting and clashing on every point possible. I knew I didn't want that for myself, and I never saw anything I DID want, so I just assumed it didn't exist. During the madness of covid, as with most people, I re-evaluated my life. Prior, I was addicted to travel, running away when things got real, and never stayed anywhere long enough to plant roots. Yet, I so desperately wanted connection.
I had spent the last decade figuring out who I was, and what I wanted. I had been in so many terrible relationships that I thought that was all there was available.
I moved to a smaller town and immediately met someone who was nothing like anyone I'd been with before. He was so consistent, and that was exactly what I needed. I grew up with a dad who would say he was going to do something, and eventually, I realized he never would. Yet I would allow myself to be let down over and over. I knew that this consistency I had found would be healing.
We both felt a strong connection, he too admitting he didn't know if marriage was in the cards for him before we met. Within a month we had moved in together and agreed that we would eventually get married and have kids together. It was exciting and frightening all at once.
Now I am painting it out to be some fairytale, and trust me, after this initial excitement, we had to face a lot of demons. This relationship required us to be honest with each other and ourselves in many ways that we didn't anticipate.
I was honest and open from the beginning, stating that if he wasn't interested in something serious, to let me go. I knew what I was looking for, and wasn't scared to lose someone along the way if they didn't want the same thing. This equally excited and scared him. After the initial declarations, we both agreed to slow down because it was getting intense and moving quickly.
Unforeseen circumstances put us in close quarters for a few months, as we traveled Mexico during the winter together. Navigating COVID, food poisoning, and a new language tested our limits. Months later we moved back to Canada and didn't know where we would end up.
We got engaged that December, going home to celebrate with our families for Christmas.
Once we saw what the wedding industry was like ($$$), we both decided that was NOT for us. We decided on a small, siblings & parents-only wedding on the beach in front of my mom's house. It was an intimate weekend full of love and celebration. It was exactly what we wanted, and cost us under $1500. My mom graciously did all of the cooking, and we kept it super low maintenance. It was perfect.
Dustin and I had both spent most of our adult lives avoiding responsibility, having a lot of fun, and on our separate spiritual journeys. We both felt good committing to each other, realizing that commitment was important to us in our own ways.
We wrote our own vows, and read them out loud in front of our families. I think we may have both blacked out at the moment (we both don't like being the center of attention) haha.
We share the same values, which is what brought us together from the start. We are generally on the same page about family, relationships, money, health, food, how we spend our time, religion, politics, and the big stuff. Truthfully, most of our disagreements are on such little details that they don't matter. Our values hold us together and remind us what our goals are.
We live in a small town for now, spending our time at the ocean, exploring the island, and drinking lots of coffee. Now it's time for us to plant some roots! Let's see what is next.