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  • emilymichellebitz

My birth story as a first time mom

On Wednesday (38+6) I felt something shift. I was exhausted and could barely make it through the day. I felt nauseous and crampy.


A few people that week had told me they had their first babies early, and it felt like a sign that mine would be early too. 


I got home in the afternoon and felt light period cramps. Naively I thought to myself “if this is all it is going to feel like, I can do this, no problem”. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Historically I have had horrible period cramps, so I felt like I could handle whatever was to come! I started googling Braxton hicks contractions, false labour, and how to know if you are really in labour. I wasn’t really sure if it was true labour, but I just kept going about my day as best I could. I was definitely uncomfortable, and didn’t have any appetite. 


I woke up Thursday and knew I couldn’t work. I told my husband I was just going to rest, and I spent most of the day on the couch, shaming myself for not getting groceries or doing anything productive to prepare for her arrival. 😂


My husband got home around 3:30 and I started timing contractions about ten minutes apart. I was managing them fairly well, but by nightfall I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I spent a lot of time that night lying in the bathtub trying to manage the increasing pain on my own.


My husband woke up the next morning and I told him that he shouldn’t go to work. I didn’t know how soon til the baby was coming, just that she was on her way.


We spent all day working through the contractions together, and at some point he told me they were 3-4 minutes apart, so we called the midwife. 


The midwife arrived and immediately made me feel more at ease. She showed me some positions and helped my husband use counter pressure. She was setting up the baby weighing scale and other supplies, so I felt really hopeful baby was on her way soon. She checked and said I was about 6 cm dilated.


At 6 pm the midwives changed shifts. My contractions slowed down a ton with the new midwives arrival, and also became super uncomfortable. By 10 or so, the midwife told me she thought I was probably too tired to do this at home, and my husband too was feeling worn down from doing counter pressure and being there for me every time a contraction hit.


We debated for a while about whether to go to the hospital, as that is what she suggested. I have an intense fear of all things medical (needles, hospitals, etc)., so it was a very tough decision for me. I really really wanted to have this baby at home. I knew that I was submitting myself to the cascade of interventions if we went to the hospital (look this up if you don’t know what it is), and that was really hard to face.


We eventually decided that I was probably too tired to do this without help. We headed to the hospital and immediately I was given an IV and an epidural. My fear of needles would have to take a back seat 😆 I felt  relieved of all pain. I was going on zero sleep for almost two days at this point, so they “allowed” me to sleep for four hours. Halfway through I was woken up to check my vitals. 


After 3.5/4 hours of broken “sleep” (😂) I woke up to the midwife, nurse, and Dustin standing over me. I was incredibly nauseous and confused, and they all said to me that I was 10 cm dilated and it was time to push. Nothing in me wanted to wake up and push at this point. 


I was coached to push. I was using deep breathing like my pelvic floor therapist taught me to to get the baby out. My midwife insisted I purple push, which means to hold my breath and push. She insisted that was the only thing making any difference in my baby’s position. I knew better but was too tired to argue at this point. 


The midwife had prefaced this all with telling me most first time moms push their baby out in 2.5/3 hours. 


After four hours of pushing to the point of almost passing out, she told me we might have to get the doctor to help us with forceps.


She calls the doctor and he comes in and determines that my baby is way too swollen and stuck behind my pubic bone for my pushing to make any difference. He also told me she was in the OP position. “A baby who's head-down but facing your front instead of your back is said to be in the posterior position. You may also hear this position referred to as "face-up" or "sunny-side up." A small percentage of babies end up in this position at birth. If your baby is sunny-side up at birth, it will be harder for them to get through your pelvis during a vaginal birth, and you may have a more complicated delivery.”


He then tells me that a c section is probably my only option.


I felt so defeated. I was going on zero food and sleep. I felt so frustrated at the interventions already, and at that point didn’t even care what happened as long as my baby came and this whole labour ended asap. 😂


I signed a bunch of paperwork and then was wheeled to the operating room. I was put in a very uncomfortable position and was asking all the staff how often they do c sections to ease my fears 😂 I was given more numbing medication and less than ten minutes later my baby came out crying. 


My husband cut the umbilical cord and we were sent to the recovery room until I could feel my legs again. We ate popsicles and the nurse taught me how to get a good breastfeeding latch as she complimented my boobs 😂


A day later we were finally on our way home🙏🏻 At this point I needed a shower, my own bed, food, and a good rest. Unfortunately I could barely move and wasn’t allowed to shower. My husband had to take over all household duties including keeping up with my endless hunger and thirst from breastfeeding. 


I spent the first 4-5 days in a deep cloud and honestly don’t even remember much.  


After allll that we are finally coming out of the fog and I am processing all that happened to bring our baby into the world💗


Thankful to myself for prepping so many meals, my mom for coming for the weekend and doing so much cooking and cleaning, and my husband for doing everything else over the past week and a half. It was absolutely nothing like I expected it to be! 

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